How We Found a Great Relationship:
This blog entry is written by both of us, Tony and Aleesha and we are going to describe our different perspectives before and during our first date.
We both feel we have found the greatest relationship that we’ve ever had! I thought having a relationship would be time-consuming, emotionally draining, and stressful. The thought of that made me shy away from wanting a relationship. What I have discovered is that a relationship can be simple, fun and easy. Another assumption I held was that it would be too difficult to balance personal and professional life. After all I have so much to get done. I did not feel I would have the time to stop and baby sit someone elses insecurities or tell myself I’m thinking too much about things that would not make a difference tomorrow and mean while, I am becoming less productive.
Come to find out all of my presumptions turned out to be wrong and were based on my past experience. As it turns out I found someone who doesn’t take away from my life, he adds to it. If you meet the right person you can get twice as much done not half as much. I found that while you are working on personal and professional development there truly is someone who wants to work with you and will love you and all your corks.
It all began with an event I had to go to for work. It was a Christmas luncheon at a Catholic church where there was an open bar. I should have known then there is a first time for everything. We happened to sit at the same table and no one joined us for quite a while. This gave us an opportunity to chat for the first time saying more than just a polite good morning as we normally did at a weekly community meeting we both attended. We found out we had many things in common. We discovered we worked in the same field, had similar outlooks on life and had alike backgrounds. This hinted to our potential compatibility. We ate lunch, wished each other happy holidays, exchanged business cards and went our separate ways.
After the New Year we touched bases again and we decided to get together for a bite to eat. We ended up going after work on a Monday night to the Cheese Cake Factory. I was feeling a little drained actually that day but I thought, what the heck, since we are in the same industry I can use this time to network. Plus Tony was game even though it was a last-minute dinner. I liked the spontaneity.
Dinner was good and it was nice to get out and talk with someone who was interested in talking about more than just himself. We talked a lot about work and a little bit about ourselves. I didn’t feel a love connection but it didn’t bother me because I wasn’t looking for one. I thought he was a little too uptight compared to my down-to-earth nature. Honestly, I was so tired I just wanted to go home and go to sleep. We enjoyed our dinner and said goodnight.
Tony: I actually thought our first date was “ok.” I could tell Aleesha was a little exhausted but was being a trooper and good company. We ate dinner and each had one cocktail. The conversation was nothing spectacular and was mostly about work. I did like that she was being a trooper even though she was exhausted. It signaled she wasn’t the selfish type and wasn’t a flake. She kept to her word and acted selflessly. I was impressed with that. It also impressed me at the end of our dinner when she asked the waiter and later the manager, about fundraising partnerships. This showed a good balance of personal and professional wellness. I thought to myself well she is different. Other than those things the date was mediocre and didn’t hint to an amazing relationship to come.
Aleesha and I often talk about that night and I told her if she never asked that question to the waiter and manager we might not have gone out again. I can tell you I’m so glad she did and I can’t wait to tell you about our second and third dates.