Falling Out with a Friend

I was recently asked a question, should I reach out to a friend that I have had a falling out with?  They haven’t spoken in years, but recently they dreamed about that person.  That is a tough question; reaching out to a friend who you have a falling out with is not easy.  It most certainly is not a must.  But it can bring closure.

Bringing closure.

Some might say,  you had the falling out for a reason and for that they deserve to be in your past.  Now this is different from friends and ex’s.  Ex’s deserve to be in your past in my point of view.  You must move forward with your life.  The same could be said about friends as well, but there is a difference.  Partners are held to a higher standard than friends, simply because there is a commitment involved when you are in a relationship.  There ia an elevation of trust.  On the other hand you and your friend/s don’t owe anything to each other but friendship.  Most people have different friends.  They have work friends, old school buddies, childhood friends, frat brothers etc.  You don’t have to go to bed with them or talk to them regularly, or consider them a life partner.  You are just there to have fun, talk to and be informal.  Which is important.

Falling out with a Friend

So now since we distinguished the difference between boyfriend/girlfriend relationships from platonic friends we can come up with the solution.  If the falling out was over something trivial that escalated to something major, then I would say life is short.  It doesn’t hurt to extend an olive branch.  But do so with care, it might be rejected.  So I would say be distant meaning just clear your chest and be done, and what happens after that doesn’t matter because you made the effort and tried.  Most people can’t be mad forever so if it means you stay friends from a distance then so be it.  Now if the falling out with your friend is over something serious, like loaning money to them and they are not paying you back or they slept with your partner.  Screw them.

Life is to short for trivial disagreements.  If your falling out with your friend fits into something that is trivial and you have the urge to bury the hatchet, and its for you to feel better then why not.  Just don’t go into it expecting a lot and you will be fine.

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